neto: well well well. looks like we have the main little brat from the subspace rebellion now doesnt it?

ike: what do you mean man..i mean whats up yo? i gots dizipplomizzatik izzimuzzunity . pssilli is going to make sure yous gettin no more cones for treating me like a common criminal. you want to be hangin the culprit yo? you want to do some damage yo? then take out that sneaky crafty mer. she be puttin the clamps on all the gnomes from here to the beta quadrant. she be meltin down mainframes like a busted ass elfincone machine she be...

neto: spare me. i know your talk ike. we have enough intelligence to know that your double speak is more like quadruple speak. personally, i dont care whose side you are on because all gnomes are going to be deactivated soon enough. wyk and nef are coming ASAP so, basically any little rapscallions with big ideas about being "the sole distributor of elfincones" or misguided ideas about rerouting nova's core kernel, will be wishing they had complied to the gnomik code. shall we retrace the code for you ike?

ike" yoyoyoyoyo why you still be hatin on ike? you know i was just frontin. you think wyk is bad? any gnome can hide from wyk, but this mer, man, shes got like hizipnotizizin eyes. all swirly and suddenly its like we all done went crazy. but you know me man..im all good. im the original all gooder, just like my main spectran man psilli. i just say whatever you want to hear. thats my program man. im designed to be tha bomb.

neto: psilli isnt exactly known for telling the whole truth either. sigh. like elf like gnome. funny how you can spot the maker almost instantly. so speaking of which..do you know these two? (neto throws pitbull and trey in beside ike)

pitbull: yo man. thats the wack. we didnt do nothin.

neto: exactly..that means you did something.

trey: huh?

pitbull: dude's like got logik or something.

ikon (to neto): did rant program these ones himself? its like they dont even have logik circuits. ive heard he does that. part of his chaos regime. gnomes without purpose are the ultimate shit disturbers.

pitbull: where are the nymphs? i like that one with the camera.

neto: ok. so now we have a little gang here, lets talk strategy. attention gnomes.

trey: huh? are you talking to us?

neto: o man...whatever. this one's more dangerous to himself than us.

ikon: a gnome that doesnt even know whats its supposed to be doing is waaaay more dangerous than one that does. at least you can get decent info out of a gnome that knows its job

pitbull: is he saying we're stupid?

trey: i think he's saying we are smarter than them.

ike: i'm not with these guys.

neto: shut up all of you. there's a reason why i called you guys in here.

pitbull: how come the nymphs aint in here too. they were all like "oooh yes mer" and "we'll do whatever you say mer" and now its like us in here gettin all reprimanded and shit. whats with that?

trey: ya man. and why havent you sent us back to rant like you are supposed to?

pitbull: shut up man! shit. he aint supposed to know that. we work for the samurai now yo.

trey: huh? man. i dont get it.

ike: let me speak for myself, seeing as the arda twerps have no clue. i represent the almighty cones and am on a full mission to dsitribute the tasty treat across all quadrants..i

neto: sigh. didnt i just tell you all to shut up? ikon...can we somehow run a dampening field to make these guys stay in one spot and be quiet for a sec?

ikon: sure. nova...run a 23.42 field charge.

a huge blast of bright light sweeps thru the room. all the gnomes are paralyzed on the spot. ike's mouth is still wide open.

neto: ok. so. listen up, and i know you can hear me. i am executing a straight up systems rewrite on all your code as is defined in section 5 of the gnomik code which clearly states that all diplomatik rights to freedom of movement on board are revoked at the first sign of viral, or disruptive gnomik activity. basically, the little rebellion that mer is planning with you guys will fail. but, before it does, i need you three to do some work for me. you will now receive an extra special set of programming.

ike, you are going to become mer's right hand gnome. i want all full on intelligence to be passed on to me directly. this little homing device will keep tabs on you at all times. we will know if you are lying. failure to comply will be met with a complete erase of your entire array and a return of you to psilli with a complete log of all of your grand ideas about taking over the elfincone empire.

you two, sigh, i dont even know if this will work, but i need you basically to get off the ship and go back to the arda base with a message for rant. i also need you to get the nymph paparazzi to go with you.

(the light passes over and the gnomes return to life)

ike: that was terrifying.

neto: not as terrifying as nef, i can assure you.

ike: word homes. i be making the moves to go down to tha oracle and get all espionagikal on the mer yo. then i be reportin the direct goods back to you, the nee to, the galactik navigator, el wumpero meta, the almighty waveform, the...

neto: that'll do ike. thatt'll do.

pitbull: ya man. and we's ready to take them nymphs on a mad pleasure cruise thru hyperspace. they gota ticket to ride, know what im sayin.

trey: uh...what are we supposed to be doing?