neto: i think i am going crazy

carl: ja. it seems

aldous: i think perhaps all you need do is wipe clear the lens of perception.

neto: i always keep the iris polished!

aldous: i mean the metaphorical lens. you have to see this story as but one of the multiplicitous stories that can be unfolding at any given moment. there are, of course many doors.

carl: ja, und zis female mer, she must be respected as ze key to ze dreaming space. ze collective unconscious vich is affecting all of reality.

neto: yaya..this is basic psychology and philosophy. i learned this at age 3. its not why i called both of you here. hmmm. i think i might need einstein here too. i'm confused about time. and...maybe i need a hot female psychiatrist to help me work on my issues with females...

carl: zis may be your problem right here. zis is a classic case of ze unmitigated haze.

aldous: certainly young man. it goes without saying that the nymphik principle is most often a factor of obfuscation.

neto: exactly aldous. thats what i'm talking about. obfuscation. i have two main concerns here.

1) why is my temporal instability so unstable around females.

2) why are female characters so challenging?

carl: i sink we have your classic case of alpha syndrome

neto: is everything a classic case to you?

carl: ya, i was practicing in ze 1800's. seeing as it is now 2323 i vould say i can claim classic status.

aldous: neto. have you tried mushrooms to work this out. i have often thought that terran males lack a rite of passage and therfore find it hard to come into a reasonable identity.

neto: ha! thanks aldous, but it's not like i'm 13 again...hey wait. i was 13 for a bit. maybe this is why i still feel confused about females

carl: you vish young man. but ze sad reality is zat ze situation is not easy. one cannot blame all of ze present on ze past. one must also look at ze probable future as a magnetik destiny line. zis is how you approach ze mer. you must see all of zis as a manifest destiny vich you are choosing from decisions made in ze past and in ze future vich you cannot yet know.

aldous: and zis is where..er excuse me..this is where the mushroom comes in. perhaps this excursion to spectra will help you solve all of the riddles that face you now. and one that perhaps you might not even be aware of is the importance of examining the reason why you are now embroiled in a stressful mission into elvish future when they couldn't really care less about you. and..you must also ask yourself why the mer continually finds you challenging, as challenging indeed as you find her.adult relationships are the key to discovering your manifest destiny trajectory. in the end many things will come and go, but the relationships you make have lasting resonances.

einstein: i am sorry i'm late, but you know "time is relative!"

(evryone laughs)

carl: its alvays a gamble vith albert vether or not he vill even show.

einstein: i do not play dice! besides. thats what makes the game interesting. not understanding the equations but knowing there are formulas which work them out. now. i see you are having some classic difficulties with basic physics. hmm. looks like real mess actually. you aren't sure if you are coming or going. this is either moving so quickly that you pass yourself in the next future life or you are going so slowly that you are passing yourself in multiple pasts. of course i can't really prove anything to you because i am only a simulation of what einstein knew.

aldous: fat lot of good you did. atomic bombs and confused timelines. your discoveries set us back decades.

einstein: hardly sufficient reason to not have discovered it at all. if i hadn't then none of the advances humans made in space travel would have been possible. (serious face) it is not my fault that dark forces poluted the minds of terrans.

carl: one might say zat the absurdity of relativity vas the hardest sing about the 20th and 21st centuries. a time when newtonian physics limited us all to basic airflights and automobiles. now the lightships make travelling the galaxy a piece of cake. di you know that the wright brothers first flight was only as long as the wing of a 747?. thats not even the tip of the eco dome.

neto: i'm here to talk to you guys about this. the reason is, and i hate to break it to you. the future is a lot more complicated than you all imagined. sure you all suggested a huge playing field of polyprobable realities, but it really is more like throwing dice than you think. this is my main issue. i'm not sure why i even stay tuned into this adventure. its nothing but stress and complex mathematical formulas which are continually rending my body into tiny patterns and photons and dispersing them across time and space to remote locations. i don't even know how i hold together. this is physics way deeper than einstein can rough out on his blackboard. its too many doors for huxley to walk thru in a million lifetimes and poor carl, ze truth is zat zis is no dream. or rather, the dream is the destiny. i am more than awake. i can't sleep. who am i? i can't really be a human, i have never lived amongst them. but does my genetik makeup record all of the things i am supposed to feel? who was i before i was born?

all three doctors hmm and hah and stroke their beards.

carl: zese questions are not worth answering. instead you must ask, now that you are here, vat are you going to do?

neto: no shit. that's why i came to you guys.

aldous: well surely there must be brighter examples than us of human logic now.

neto: hmmm. i'm not really sure. by the time i was born, aeon had almost phased human history out of the curriculum. i'm more elf than human.

carl: vell, zese egyptians might have some keys to your human past.and zis astra must have some keys to your human present..und vether you like it or not, ze mer hold ze ultimate key to your elvish future.

aldous: haze clears and the lens focusses.

einstein: within the relativity of past present and future you find the only center is within yourself.

neto: right. so that's about it for human philosophy and physics.

einstein: goodness no! so many came after me, but none were sufficiently able to deal with the paradoxes of relativity. lets say that few of us really figured out the secrets to radial time travel. the rest..well see for yourself. they hurtle towards to galactik center in tin cans. still pre time crystal. pre transporter. but you, you live with this stuff on a daily basis. kid, you are the future of human life. that makes you a role model. so align your lines. only the diplomat makes true allies.

carl: vich brings us back also to ze paradox of the confusing female folk. on zis topic ve must inevitably face the same conclusions. girls are ze haze. alzo, vun must also note zat ze boys are haze for ze girls. perhaps here you may see ze true problem.

neto: how will i ever come to befriend the mer when she is so dead set on being angry and frustrated with me? for no good reason. this is crucial to how the next part of the story turns out. is she going to blow us all up and destroy us, her only true friends, or is she going to figure out how to co-operate?

aldous: this brings everything back to the mushroom. the answers you seek are on spectra. there you can dissolve yourself into the sea of infinity and release your grip on the timeline. within the spore you can see and feel the relativity that einstein talks of, and the manifest destiny of the dream language and symbols that carl is on about. take mer to spectra. and hurry, she's plotting as we speak.

jaycee busts into the ruminator: sorry dude. er..dudes. wo. old dudes. hey neto whats with the fogeys.

neto: mind your manners jaycee. these are distinguished terran thinkers.

jaycee: i didnt know terrans thought. haha. just kidding. so anyways. man. all hell is breaking loose in subspace. the gnomes are building up for some kind of crazy rebellion. they may swarm the field.

neto: i know i know. mer has them all riled up on some mission of justice. warped justice if you ask me. so. i guess they are calling you a narc eh?

jaycee: even ike.

neto: shame. well deliver messages to the gnomik republic.

1) wyk and nef are psyched to kill any gnomes who don't behave

2) wyk is extra specially psyched to kill gnomes right now

3) rants gnomes need to come and see me. i have a job for them. i hear they can be swayed with various things.

4) ike better explain why he has broken his treaty with me..i agreed to psilli having a gnome on the ship, pnly as long as he was aligned. i don't want no snivelly scaredy gnome. the mer can't just turn evrything on me. i won't stand for it. i'm probably the only one left with actual untarnished sanity. well..maybe ikon.

carl: vell..zis may not be zo true

neto: whatever jung..you know i'm right. i try to help everybody. my ship is practically a hostel for lost time travellers. i help elves and gnomes, and elves that want to hurt other elves i have even helped. i think the mer needs to face the true neto. we go to spectra.

the final word to the nymph gnomes is that if they want special access to nova for there news then they have to tell the honest truth. no mer propaganda. if they want a hall pass and immunity from wyk and nef, then they have to submit their pics and stories to me and my impartial review board..right guys?

all the men and several other hot nymphs all nod.

neto: hey, where did you nymphs come from? back you..back you vicious pirates. how the hell did they get so goddam tech those crazy nymphs. you'd swear that guardian somehow gave them a bunch of tech...hey!