i would never wish suffering on anyone, no matter what they did to deserve their lot. some people call on heavy consequences simply by refusing to face the reality of their situations.

straight up...you lost out. your inability to melt into love and acceptance will make you miserable as long as you allow it to. today i read the relationship book and consulted it regarding our combination. it said "struggles with power". the author suggested that such relationships run into conflicts of power and that the best course of action was to avoid unmitigated displays of it.

this means not saying "fuck you", even tho it's possble to still be hurt and angry about the way that things turned out. nah, its less about anger as it is about equality. i think you were too afraid to really say the truth because of what it would reveal about the inner you. secrets destroy you from the inside out. there is nothing you can escape from.

me the opposite. my tactic was to display everything and create an overflow. you thought i was a crybaby? you thought i was submeta? good for you to push me out. i'd love to believe you did it for my own good, to jolt me into the place i now live. really i think you did it to protect yourself and not have to give up anything, not take any risks. how did it turn out?

there's much unresolved, but i'd never dream of pushing it further in your real time. you'd never allow me to be right.

altho i don't really have a clue of the intricate workings of you, i can see a certain level of obvious cause and effect. superiority complex coupled with a deep sense of knowing its not the case really, you arent superior and we arent inferior. its all a big illusion and the more seriously we take it, the more likely it will get us down.

when love opens itself to you, you note it and work within its parameters to see if it can find reasonable resolutions. don't be alarmed if people stop loving you, especially if they feel judged or ignored by you. who'd want to be friends with a meanie? how hard is it to say something nice. i usually do. this is uncharacteristic. but in actuality, i think this is one of the kindest things ive done since i met you.

i just try and forgive. my heart opened wide to allow in someone who called in a wave. that heart was crushed. now i've learned, not how to hide the heart, but to have it be unbreakable.

foolish young elf. opportunities for galactik advance are to be seized and nourished as gifts. every missed chance means making up for time spent trying to conceptually hold oneself back. i don't know what i'm talking about, but i feel it. logic in my sphere dictates that i interpret events in the way that best supports evolution for all involved. time wasnt right? not meta enough combination of souls? unfinished business from last spin thru?

2 years passes. the cycle is the same. the difference is that i did not try to go backwards. i'd meet you again anytime, but i know now how different i would be. you'd find me intolerable because i wouldnt put up with any bullshit.. i'm too valuable to be mistreated. that's not ego. its reality. same with you. good for you if you are finally free. take your own advice and work on yourself now.

next time a gorgeous light being stretches their hand towards you with true admiration and empathy, take it to heart. let the new you emerge. this doesnt mean jump into a new prison, it means join the ranks of the truly liberated.