i wanted to tell him that it heals, that the wound doesnt have to be deep and that he should be glad to be free. but i didnt. i listened to his story and told him that if it was any consolation that i could relate to how he felt. he said "why do they have to be so complicated?". i laughed.

this is a good question. why is it so complicated.?why does it hurt? from this vantage point i cant even relate to the being i was when i was hurting (seems like most of my 20's) and yet when i looked in his eyes i knew that place, i knew that fierce ache that comes when the safe little energetic umbillical cords are severed. its real and feel for him.

the rational mind shuts off in relation to love. we tell the most outrageous stories to ourselves about what it means. we set our selves up for disaster. i hear it daily and i get more cynical about the structure. monogamy has destroyed many a good relationship and relationships have drastically altered many people's relationship to themselves.

but all we are, in a social environment, is relationships. in fact, the beings we make ourselves into depend on context to givethem details and characteristics. we are each other by being different. we form ourselves in response to the people we surround ourselves with. even an ascetic falls into this paradoxical scenario.

so. a different method is to love the self into the onbeyond and meet the others who have also made it there. notice the halo around everyone's head and accept the fact that you have one too, and its so bright that the inspiration is ineffable.