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| chronikon |
| current |
| communication |
| whole system |
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| level before |
| next level |
| 2003-07-02 9:59 p.m. |
| diving headfirst into the mania |
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walk out on me. leave the table in the middle of the conversation and imply i am arrogant. imply i am too caught up in the tasks that pull me beyond this cabin i hole myself up in for days on end. tell me i am crazy to love you tell me i am crazy to not love you tell me i work too much tell me i dont work enough tell me i like myself too much tell me i dont like myself enough tell me i am extravagant tell me i am poor tell me i get too high and call me the dmt inhaling buddy tell me i am devoid of meaning or devoid of reason and devoid of depth because i am not always visible tell me i cheat tell me i play tyoo much by the rules tell me i decide my fate tell me there'[s nothing i can do, call me a liar, call me a sneak, call me a trickster call me a thief, call me a whiner call me a saint call me boring call me fascinating call me big call me small, call me a know nothin, call me a knowitall, tell me i sleep too much, tell me i dont sleep enough, tell me im too high, tell me i dont delve deeply enough into height. for all the freakin paradox of defining oneself in relation to others. for all of you who looked at me and felt challenged because i wasnt there, or i was there too much, for you who let me in and cut my throat, and for you who wont let me get out and for you you thinks i am so much more than i am, for you and you and you and you and whatever. try and figure this one out. neto says he loves you anyway so don't go assuming this relates directly to anyone in particular. imagine me not caring imagine me caring more than you could possibly know. |
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